Monday, November 22, 2010

20 weeks!

This is a few days late, but I have made it to 20 weeks and couldn't be happier. I only have one more milestone to hit with this pregnancy (which is Friday)and then I can no longer compare or worry about this pregnancy ending up just like Juanito's. I guess it means that it brings on a whole new set of worries for me. There are no guarantees in pregnancy. I have just decided that I have NO control of this and I need to be happy for each day that I get with her. I know that God is with us and he is guiding us through this.

On a different note: I have been feeling pretty good lately. I am def. feeling that full feeling you get as you progress in pregnancy. I can only imagine how it is going to feel when I'm 37 weeks. Noodle has started to move more, but she is still very inconsistent. Hopefully very soon I can start to recognize her patters better and know what she is doing. Having my placenta on the front of my uterus doesn't help any either. It really makes her movements harder to feel and also finding her heart beat is a pain. The placenta gets in the way all the timet. I have been thinking a lot lately about preparations for her. I honestly do not know when to start. When I was pregnant with Mitch I bought a whole bunch of premie clothes on sale for Christmas. I was only 19 weeks with him and his pregnancy turned out just fine. All of my kids have used premie clothes for about the first 6-8 weeks and I know that is something I will not get as gifts. I will be 25 weeks on Christmas and I want to go buy her some of her first outfits so bad, but I am scared! I wish that I didn't know any better and I could just go through this pregnancy in sweet bliss. I wish I could go out and buy everything I feel like we will need those first few weeks with out the fear of loosing her looming in the back of my mind. I just wish this was easier!!!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I need your help!!!

Juanito's 1st angelversary is in 6 weeks and the only thing I can think that I want to do is raise more money to expand out Juanito's Wish. I have about 50 boxes waiting to be filled, but Juan's work has slowed and I have been unable to fill them. I have a Chip In button on Juanito's Blog and any donation big or small will help. If you are able to donate even a couple of dollars I would appreciate it or if you have any ideas as to how we can raise more money to expand to other hospitals PLEASE leave a comment. I know that the first few babyloss parents that received the boxes were very grateful and I would love to continue this project and help many more parents.

Monday, November 15, 2010

MFM Appointment

Sorry this one is a little late. Friday morning was my appt with the perinatologist. It was obvious that my fluid was low, but the appt still went well considering. We were able to see all her major organs. Some were a little grainy, so they will check them again at my next appt in 3 weeks. She has 2 kidneys and a bladder which was very full. She even peed during the US, so that was a huge relief. They found a good sized pocket of fluid that measured at 3cm before Noodle peed and 4cm after. The doctor felt good with that pocket and said I wouldn't need bed rest at this point unless I started into preterm labor. I left the appt. with a renewed sense of hope. I know that we are not out of the woods yet, but I did/do feel hopeful once again!

I know I said I wouldn't compare this pg with Juanito's and I won't, but I remember leaving my appt. on Dec. 1st of last year being told my fluid levels were fine and that there was nothing I needed to be worried about. 23 days later we found out my fluid was extremely low and just 5 days after that we found out he had passed. My point in all of this is that there are no guarantees in life and we should never take what a doctor or specialist says for granted. We have no control over this and we never will, so we need to be very thankful for every day we are given with our children because we never know when things could change!!!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Not so great news

Yesterday's ultrasound turned out not to not be as good as I had hoped it would. Noodle's fluid is very low and they were not able to see everything they wanted to. This early in pregnancy measuring the fluid is questionable, but my tech has been doing it all along so we have pretty good numbers to compare to. Normal fluid is above 13. Noodle's is measuring around 6. I am pretty devastate to say the least. I feel like I am living in this nightmare and I keep repeating it over and over. I am trying so hard to to stay positive, but once you have lived the worst nightmare in the world, you can't help but be afraid. With Juanito I went in and they told me my fluid was really low. I went back a week later and he was gone. So yesterday I went in and my fluid is really low....... I am bound and determined to go in next week and it have improved!!! I am drinking even more then I have been and I am going to bed! I still have to work, but as soon as I get off I will be going home and laying down. I already know that once I hit 23-24 weeks I am going to be put to bed if my fluid levels do not increase. I had this same thing happen with Adriana and I was put on bed rest from 23 weeks till 33 when I was moved to modified bed rest. She still came 4 weeks early, but she was alive and healthy!!! I will do things a little bit different this time around. I am going to insist on steroid shots and insist that they start NST's around 28 weeks. I am going to fight so hard for this baby and I will not take no for an answer!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

So So Nervous!!!

Today is my big Ultrasound at my regular OB's office. I know things are good as far as Noodle still being here with us. i listened to a very strong HB last night and this morning. But I can't help worrying that they are going to find something else wrong. I know I shouldn't think that way, but I just can't help it. It was at my big US that they found out something was seriously wrong with Juanito's fluid level and then less than a week later he was gone. It was during a routine US that we found that his HB was no longer beating. I HATE that I even have to worry about things being wrong. The only thing I should have to worry about is if she really is a girl. Another thing that has me really upset today is that Juan will not be at the US with me today. He is working out of town. I BEGGED him to stay and leave tomorrow, but he couldn't and he left first thing this morning. I wish he worked in an office just around the corner from my OB's office like I do. My school seriously is around the corner from my OB and from the hospital I will be delivering at. Talk about convenient. I just wish Juan had the same, so I never had to go to an appt. alone. It is so frustrating to be so scared to go to the doctor in the first place, but to not have you hubby by your side makes it that much worse.
I guess today is not the happy go lucky day I wish I could be having. I've always wanted to have the big US a few weeks early, but have had to wait and now that I get to have it early I wish I could put it off a few weeks more incase I get bad news.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Hide and Seek

Well I've decided that Noodle LOVES to play hide and seek with my placenta. Unfortunately, my placenta is anterior this go around and it makes finding her heart beat somewhat tricky. For the past 2 nights she has really been hiding behind my placenta and it has made my search with the doppler for her heart beat a not so easy task. I often have to jiggle my belly several times for her to realize that maybe it would easier if she just cooperated and then she can go back to being nice a cozy snuggled into her placenta pillow. I hope that as she grows this task will become easier. I hate that it takes upwards of 15 minutes sometimes to find it. I just hope she is enjoying herself as she almost gives her mama a heart attack every time it takes too long to find that little beat ticking away around 150 bpm.

Monday, November 1, 2010

We found out! Drum Roll Please.......

And we couldn't be more excited!!! I have known since my 14 week ultrasound that Noodle was looking like a girl. At 15.5 weeks she looked even more girl and then it was confirmed for sure last Thursday when I went in for an US because I was having some bad cramping. She had her legs wide open and there was nothing in between them to indicate anything other than a girl. It was so cute too because when the US tech went to snap a shot she crossed them an we got a shot of her cute little feet crossed instead. I guess she didn't want anyone to see them except her mommy and the tech.

For Halloween I decide to order a t-shirt off the internet as my costume. I was hoping we could get her gender confirmed so I could add something pink to be able to announce what we were having right along with the fact we were expecting again. I had several coworkers who knew I was pregnant again, but I never talked about it and I kept the part that she was a girl a complete secret. It was a lot of fun and I had so many compliments on the shirt too.
Yes I am actually wearing the shirt in this picture. I found this cute little flower and I put it on the head. The best part about the shirt is that it glows in the dark!!! This will be a fun keepsake to put away for her for when she gets big.

Now I need your help!!! We thought we had a cute girl named picked out for her, but we are realizing that it would be too hard to pronounce for either English speakers or Spanish speakers depending how we spelled it, so I think it is out and we have NO CLUE on any other names. Anyone have any cute names they would like to share???